Blogging at the End of the World
In 2024, it’s tempting to think that the world is ending. I feel like I’m always having conversations about how terrible everything is, in all aspects of society. In many ways that’s true. But I’m also wary of falling into the trap of believing that this is the worst time in history. For some people, it is, whereas others have rights now that never used to exist.
So what’s the point of blogging? What’s the point of writing anything, or sharing anything? I’ve resisted it for so long, even though I’ve had many people tell me over the years that I should do it.
My journey to becoming a writer who is willing to share their work is long. I’ve always written things, and I wanted to be an author from an early age. In school I did well in English and my teachers encouraged me. But I was always somewhat embarrassed by my writing. Some part of me shied away from praise, maybe because I didn’t think that the writing was good enough.
Now that I’m officially middle-aged, with all sorts of health problems and stuff to manage, I no longer worry about being good enough. It might sound morbid, but I’m motivated by death. I’m spurred on by the fear of dying, and of not achieving what I want. Which makes zero sense when you think about it, because once you’re dead, it’s not as though you’re aware of any of this! So maybe it’s not a fear of dying, but a fear of incapacitation. The fear that something will come along to prevent me from realising my dreams.
I’m interested in so many things, but the reality is I can’t pursue them all. I want to be the best at everything I try, which is another thing that gets in the way, as it’s completely unrealistic. But on the plus side, it motivates me to get better at what I love. Writing is something I love, and I’m motivated to get better at it. I know I’ll never be perfect at it, because I don’t think art can ever be perfect. Instead, writing is a craft that I can develop, that I can work on for the rest of my life.
So this blog, and this website, is my way of getting better at something. It’s also my way of contributing to the world of writing and art, no matter how few people pay attention. We live in such a crowded, chaotic world, one that is terrifying and depressing but also filled with wonderful things. It can be hard to exist within it, to balance both the dark and the light. This is something I always have to balance within myself: the happy, funny, silly parts of me must live alongside the cynical, the snarky and the depressed. But I have to at least try.
